You get an orgasm, you get an orgasm, you get an orgasm! August McLaughlin is a writer, sex-positive advocate, and frequent speaker on sexuality and gender issues. Her brand and podcast, Girl Boner, is all about recognizing and embracing female sexual pleasure for the powerful and necessary! The most iconic moment of pleasure, of course, is the orgasm.
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Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our May issue , so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. I never thought one would happen to me, especially because feet, including my own, have always grossed me out. In , I was 29 years old and spending a month in Bali to surf and earn my yoga-teacher certification. I ran the same route, each time noticing a bright-green sign that read pijat refleksi massage , framed by images of two feet. On my last week in Bali, the sign called out to my tired, aching body. I followed it down an alleyway, through a courtyard, and into what looked like a former temple, where I found a short, elderly Balinese man with thick, graying hair and deep-set laugh lines. He was wearing oversize athletic shorts and a polo about two sizes too big for his small frame. We agreed on three dollars for an hour-long foot massage, then the three of us made our way to a large wooden platform beneath a pergola.
I have to admit: when a Girl Boner Radio listener wrote in about her tendency to orgasm during massages, I was a wee bit envious. And I was basically okay with that. What is up with that? Also, I keep wanting more massage appointments, haha.
Remember that orgasm is primarily an event that occurs in, and is about, the nervous system. Yes, most people have most of their orgasms due to stimulation that is about or includes genital stimulus. But not all people, and again, for most, it's not JUST about that stimulation, but about whole body and whole mind stuff. Reaching orgasm due to massage really isn't bizarre. Think about it: all the right factors are in place. You're relaxed, you feel safe, you're being attended to, and with what you're experiencing, you're having orgasms when parts of your spine and lower back muscles are getting stimulus, parts of your body which are massively tied to your nervous system. Too, you're not in a situation where you'll be feeling any performance pressure. Some of what I'm hearing when you talk about sexual partners is you feeling partners become very frustrated with you when you don't reach orgasm, and that scenario is bound to make you feel pressured. Orgasm and sexual response doesn't tend to respond well to performance concerns and pressures. When it comes to when you are NOT reaching orgasm, a majority of women do not reach orgasm from vaginal intercourse.